change is good, esp. if it's enough to buy coffee

change indeed is good. it is difficult, painful, and often discouraged by people around you who don't understand. sometimes i think people just get comfortable with you and when you start changing yourself they aren't sure how they should respond to you. but that's beside the point. i don't want my life to become stagnant. i want to strive for excellence and completion in my life. hopefully, when i'm an old fart with plaid pants up to my wrinkly man boobs i'll still be working on myself. to piggy-back of lile's post, it's crazy to see how the things i once thought defined me no longer do. does that mean that i was delusional then? absolutely not. i used to really feel God was going to use my life for musical something or other. in pursuit of that i tried out numerous band situations that all flopped. then i thought... hmmm maybe a studio engineer or something along those lines. that washed out too and i began to focus on the fact that i really enjoyed hanging out with teenagers. (myself just past those crazy years) all this time i had been playing guitar and singing in our youth worship band. --this will be usefull info. momentarilly. so, i began to focus my attention on helping people slightly younger than me navigate that strange transition from teenagehood (childhood would be offensive) to quasi-adulthood (which is where i was and maybe still am somewhat). mistakes were made, (encouraging others to join me in pee-ing of the balcony of our 17th floor hotel room being just one) but as i grew i began to have a dream. 'to be youth pastor at calvary church in 5 yrs.' and i accomplished that in slightly under 4. and while even as recent as 2 weeks ago someone asked me if i was youth pastor (due to the fact that no one ever said i was and the answering machine at the church still says the old one is the current youth pastor) i know in my heart that i accomplished my goal. that's saying alot since i haven't accomplished much in my short life. at almost 27 i'm trying to figure out how to juggle work/family/ and the prospect of going back to school. in the midst of all this i feel God has put me on a path to use music (and other things) for His Kingdom and Glory and i am pursuing it whole-heartedly. (does that have a hyphen?) does this mean that i was wrong for thinking that God wanted me to become a youth pastor? no, i think he did want me to; i don't know the reasons per se but i'm sure there was at least one. and in my heart i still desire to help young people. what that will look like as i follow this winding path that is so dark i can barely see tomorrow? i have no idea, but i've resigned myself to the prospect of frequent and dramatic change. change can be good. right now 53 cents can get you 24oz of coffee at racetrac... change is good.