the power of letting go.

Fear is an interesting phenomenon. I have struggled with it my entire life. At times it has been a low-level fear that loomed in the background of my soul, and at other times it has been so paralyzing that I could not physically move. Fear can warp your sense of idenity, and it can affect your actions on a variety of levels. I cannot stress the importance of dealing with your fear - facing it directly - and allowing yourself to use spiritual formation and counseling to help guide you. Why do I say this? Well, I think the first hurdle to begining the process of church planting is a proclamation of intent. This is accompanied by an overwhelming fear of rejection. Now, I admit that much is contrived in one's mind - but it exists. For myself, telling my dad about my calling to help start a new church was a very tall looking hurdle. I had no idea how he would react. I was scared, because he is my father, my pastor, and my boss to an extent. Well, this week was my first proclamation of intent. At breakfast with my dad, I told him about the vision God is calling me to pursue. Well, the seemingly imposing hurdle I had allowed fear to create came crumbling down through grace and humilty. I could not have asked for more support and sharing of wisdom than I experienced in that hour and a half of conversation. Something a dear person in my life had said a year ago was now coming true in my life -- my dad was a partner in my future, not an obstacle to it. When fear is replaced by grace's reality, the once percieved obstacles seem somewhat silly. My dad's wisdom and pointed questions have been a needed addition to the formation process of these early stages of vision formation. It was a moment when I had to let go of fear. And there is power in that release. I feel more alive and sure than ever about the calling of God for this church plant. And that makes a huge difference. We have to let go of some things. And I think that when we do, we'll experience a rebirth of passion in our hearts.

What I'm listening to lately:
Ryan Adams - Jacksonville City Nights
The Dismemberment Plan - Change
Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere

What I'm reading:
The Radical Reformission by Mark Driscoll
Faith of My Fathers by Chris Seay
Postmodernism 101 by Heath White

What I'm watching:
Arsenal 'football/futball' matches
Heroes on NBC
The Office on NBC

Shalom,
-Liles

What once was, now is.

This isn't the first entry I have ever typed into this blog. But it is the first of a new pattern, a new start. I'm wondering how to phrase this right. But here are the basics. This blog will document the start of something I am being drawn into - a calling that will shape my life and the days ahead.

In the shortest terms, I am following God - and participating in a new church plant. A new faith community, you could say. There are no others involved at this time except God and me. And I am letting God bring the right leaders and participants together.

So, I hope that this will be a place were struggles and successes are fleshed out. Where resources are found and shared. Prayers whispered and screamed. And the story will unfold.

I will end each entry with a short set of anecdotes - and things I am reading, watching, and listening to.

The past: I am a pastor's son who never wanted to be a pastor. Until God changed my entire world 4 years ago.
The present: I am trying to pull a thesis project together for my last semester in seminary at Brite Divinity School.
The near future: telling my parents about my desire to leave my home church and participate in the community plant.

Reading: She by Saul Williams; Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby; A Primer on Postmodernism by Stanley Grenz
Watching: House of Boateng on the Sundance Channel; Brick; Winter Passing; The Office on NBC.
Listening to: a lot of Wilco, but also some Sufjan Stevens and the Shins

Shalom.

--Liles